Yes it seems so mechanical and cut and dry the way some men are, so no sex is much more appealing. Quit excusing inexcusable behaviors by your partners. We have had a fall out now and it is the elephant I was being shipped out to Vietnam and we both were afraid of losing eachother. That can happen because of a lack of communication, a lack of understanding or just misinterpreting what their spouse is thinking. why is he grumpy? This whole situation sucks for all of us. Then, let the pouting begin. She believes relationships should be easyand that, with room for self-reflection and the right toolkit, they can be. Either something happened that made her feel that way or shes lying. We try not to get in each others way and we havent had a conversation in years. Work and motherhood can be overwhelming, so instead of asking her for sex at the end of the day when youre both exhausted, start planning for it.
Wife Doesn't Want You To Touch Her? (Understand its Meaning) Every study I have ever seen says its over twice as likely for the woman to be the one withholding. She likely doesn't want you to touch her bc whenever you do it leads to an implied intimacy interaction she doesn't want. Anything less is slow sewer side. That was the best written, most solid commentary on this subject Ive ever read. My wife did not give me your three choices, but they are still there. I would leave and strive to take care of her financial needs until she is able to take care of herself or meets a man her age or older who is happy as a roommate. I am 53 and my wife is 55. Nathan I am in exactly the same position as you. But it also means were in a status quo that just isnt satisfying. If they need get that only from you, so be it. I hear you bro. I almost wish I were. Most women who go through postpartum depression also find it increasingly difficult to get physically involved. Take what you can, now. What about the years of devotion? Hello Hawkeye That's part of it, but in long-term relationships, sex is also the fastest route for a man to feel close and connected to his wife. Just because one grows older doesnt mean that sex is over. How is she even going to want to have a relationship?. I am a 52 year old woman who has had a hysterectomy and has gone through menopause and I have always had a high libido and still do. Women love that. I have asked her why she makes dinner for us even though she hates doing it, and she says its because she loves me. If you have to ask whats so I important about having sex, you must be doing it wrong. Signs My Husband Isn't Attracted To Me - He Rejects Your Hugs, Kisses, And Touch. We are wired so differently. I was going to say you lucky lucky bastard., Maybe let her pick the sex partner and she may want to be a side participant in it, could always ask : ), Its been13 years no sex for me.lbeen married42 years..her phone and internet are more important than me. Hi Monica, You ladies need to get hip on new Sex Play & Sex Toys, My wife of 1yr,(she is 73) ( Im 77) We were having sex every nite & 3 times on weekendsand it all came to a STOP about a month ago. In case you have nothing to hide, work on communication exercises with your partner to be able to tell her that there is no need for trust issues. There are many types of intimacy, and they tend to dovetail. Except she doesnt like hugging or cuddling either. I wonder if it could be depression (something he wouldnt admit to), but its been going on a long time. . If I was better looking and could make the time to find a willing partner Id do it because sex has dwindled a lot in the last ten years. She may give in from time to time to satisfy her man, but the drive is gone. When we DO have intimacy, it usually comprises me masturbating until she finishes me with her mouth (which she still likes to do) and her using one of those power vibrators that sound like a jackhammer to get herself off.
Advice | Ask Damon: My wife doesn't want to have sex anymore Many health issues can affect a woman's sexual desire, from diabetes to chronic pain conditions to cancer. Key points. My situation isnt as severe as many here. I still love my wife dearly and I am committed to her but I have to take care of myself. Now when it comes to my receiving oral sex to orgasm? Just has zero desire. struggles or clinical depression? The only relief that I get from my pain is physical pleasure. My husband and I separated recently. I just accept that I could not control it and that it is Gods will for me. You should be glad that your wife is still with you your ass would have been out the door the first time you ever tried to tell me what to do oh and by the way Ive been married 20 years and my husband has NEVER told me what to do we both have great paying jobs and are very independent I have a Daddy and he stopped telling me what to do when I was 17.
"Does my wife love me?" Here are 32 signs she doesn't Im 65 and he is 74. Men are not brain dead. This really sucks. It literally changed our lives. I didnt either with my late husband Too much cheating etc. I know we are very different people and and I am not trying to change her as much as letting her know the effects of being so distant and often dismissing my feelings yet I have to be totally responsive to her to keep her happy. Nor, is it a reasonable demand that you need (should) accept. unless you feel he is better then nothing. I appreciate that No outside agency or individual can fix anything yet they get their fix of adulation with tired Info. As I explained before on seniorplanet.org, spontaneous desire just happens, while responsive desire only happens after a womans body starts getting aroused. but you most certainly are putting up with it, by acquiescing your role in your own home and your role as the male in your relationship. interested in sex as they grow older but I find that to be true of men as well at least in the case of my husband! I dont look my age at all! My wife never initiates any form of Intimacy let alone Sex. Fix it. If thats the case, try to build a successful relationship after cheating; own up to your mistakes, have a heart-to-heart conversation with her and assure her that its all in the past. Please go find someone else to enjoy sex with if you can. No, I should say male divined WRONG! I completely recovered and had to start my own business to share in the household expenses. It is sad and hurtful and I felt she only did me favor to have sex with me.. We have 3 young kids so divorce is not an option and I had been sleeping in guest room for almost 6 months now.. Anyway, I simply want you to know that as many women as men are trapped in this sadness. Why do you think Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt got divorced?? So, basically youre saying, My needs outweigh your life. I dont care if you die, so long as I get 3 minutes of pleasure.. Weve been married for 37 years. Im throwing my partner out the door due to his rants and anger over lack of sex. Ive just seen this ,not sure when posted .ive tried so hard to get wife to have sex .she says menopause.then I gave up.but other we I had a beer and told her how I felt .silly beer a..so she been trying to start sex but my body has closed down to her .im worried ive turned off to her mentally.I do love her but shes noticed im not getting aroused like I used too .and now shes saying I prefer porn, but its how ive got by for so long.its really .mested up.im 53sorry. So the thing I hate hearing but rings true is once in the no sex zone you are not coming back in to it. Then extreme back problems thru me into disability. While its true that marriage isnt for everyone, it certainly isnt worthless. Hello David, Recently, he has been distant unloving and disrespectful towards me. Sure. So, lets be clear. Its one less thing to think about or do. In most cases, Ive seen that when one partner is depressed, after a period of time, the other starts to feel depressed as well. my dad is 85 years old and my mom is 5 years his senior at 90 years old. I am fairly attractive and I. Take time to learn about the secrets of sex all women wish men knew, learn your way around her body and plan a special evening together. I have tried individual therapy and that was to no avail. My husband and I have been married 6 years. Your wife may have become so involved in raising the kids that her relationship with you takes a backseat. Id like to hear how you feel. (Note to women reading this thread: though the accepted wisdom is women love big penises, Ive found in my experience that its certainly not universal. If I go with my friend (who is also not 100% and we have the same pace, easy and slow) he ridicules me that I have energy to shop, walk her dog or just sit and chat over some tea. I think because I really enjoyed masturbating from my semenarche to marriage, I brought in a healthy way of looking at sex. Emotional connection is the starter and it is counterproductive if her man is resentful or walking around with head down and needy. EXACTLY!!! I set up a Revenge cheat. But at this point I dont think her interest in sex will ever revive, so what would your advice be? That was almost 50 years ago, I dont live in he house with her. He tries to manipulate me about everything and after 30 years of marriage I am over it. Thats something that you honestly need to ask yourself. But, you must remember that this rejection of your sexual advances is often triggered by some underlying reasons. I feel so much pain amd resentment!!! So she still has a spark of sexiness ..but wants the womanizer. If you are tired of initiating intimacy and your wife doesnt want sex anymore, it may be time to consider marriage counseling. Here's her full guide to overcoming the sexual avoidance cycle, plus how to support a lower-libido partner. If that is in fact part of the problem, then there nothing that I can do or hope to do. Ohh my! Addressing these issues will likely buoy your sex life naturally. I dont know what to do! Also, make sure you share the housework equally, including the mental load. Back issues and menopause have completely removed my interest in sex. Always happy to help. Trying to feel sexual and struggle through it and pretend is so hard, and brings me only sadness that I have to pretend after years of being honest. If your wife seems distant, take a step back to analyze where you may have gone wrong or why you feel like she cannot trust you again. It is incumbent on each of us, male and/or female to strive for the new, the invigoration, the secure, the calm, the exciting, the passionate . Hi Mary If your spouse has been going through such a patch, you must be a supportive husband post-pregnancy. If you want to romance her at 11 p.m., you need to understand that she needs time to sleep! she adds. Foreplay isnt just in the bedroom before sex. Thats a depressing thought too. That may not be possible. Once youre accustomed to porn, youve trained your brain to need it. She says she loves me but cant stand to touch me. Plus, a lack of communication might have created this distance. Not only are you missing out on some fun in the bedroom, but most importantly, youre missing that intimate connection it creates with your wife. She has absolutely no interest in it. Finally after 40yrs he tries to help and cares more now than at any point all the times before. Mental health issues dont appear out of nowhere for no reason. You have put up with so much bull shit it is sickening. People get lazy and just expect sex to happen because theyre married. Plus, a lack of communication might have created this distance. Due to bi-polar, I have had a strong sex drive since I can remember. You can bring up your feelings about the importance of sex in your relationship so that she knows and can let you know what she has the capacity for. I am 55, my husband is 59. My problem is my husband is still very much interested. I told him I heard him doing that and I told him if he ever did that again I would divorce him. I never signed up to be married and not getting sex. Sometimes I wish he would go. Even without your wife, seeing a therapist will help you learn how to communicate with her, and give you new ways of looking at your marriage and strategies for coping. Only you can decide if this is right for you. Im really suffering. I feared marriage for tears because I knew this is what it would be. **Women are constantly told to shut up and accept. Women don't always want to necessarily take care of their husbands, but when they love you, they do. (Side note: why do women get to have multiple organisms?). Sh. Sometimes a married woman isn't interested in having sex with her spouse because she's simply not in the mood right now. I spoil her all the time. Nerves responsible for pleasure become less prominent and less sensitive. I dont thinks this was the place to sound your horn (pun). Gopa explains how such mental health issues can affect your physical intimacy. If your wife never initiates affection, it could be due to any of the reasons listed above in this article. Divorce isnt either Im not ever going to hurt her. She told me a few years ago that she felt sorry for me because of her lack of sexual desire. I am guilty of that. Now it is back to looking at every other couple as maybe having something unattainable for me and my Wife. Were in a lifetime partnership. Its a disturbing trap that you must avoid. There is only so much I can fantasize masturbate and flirt. Think of the biblical verse Ecclesiastes 3. At 20 years I did start having a partner on the side because I was very sexually frustrated and that partner within the same situation. However, whenever a relationship began getting serious my body would suddenly shut down- no erection, no ejaculation, no desire. Sexuality is just part of the human condition but a life partner who is no longer interested or capable of providing that experience must be respected and understood. The sexual spark will return when she emerges out of it, stronger and healthier. Masturbation in the case of a marriage where one party is no longer interested in having sex and actively resists any overtures along those lines would seem to be the logical course of action. I find that unfathomable. Were your one-stop destination for unraveling the mystery that is love. Is it so horrible for me to want to passionately kiss her if it doesnt even lead to sex? Sounds like case of no money no honey. He's a great dad, and a considerate husband. Introspect a little and see how invested you are in her pleasure. No way you are real!!! As the years tick away, I am reminded of going to sleep in one anothers arms, morning sex, spontaneous make out sessions and feeling desired. Dang! I like the martyr thing, but its no B.S. Fully. She will sit in bed on her phone though. Hasnt been for 15 years. Wow!!! I have many friends in this situation. I told her that men my age generally took longer to orgasm and for sex to be mutually enjoyable, we both needed to have pleasure. But after our second kid it just dried up to not much. The Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. Some could be related to body image issues, prior sexual sin, or abuse. This break down could be for a number of reasons: Some are directly related to her man. That means you could wait forever for your wife to just want sex. "Anatomically and physiologically, decreasing estrogen and just plain aging cause potential problems for our libido," Hardwick-Smith writes in her book. Hey Mike, I dont think you need a woman, I dont think drugs and orgasm are the best ways to deal with the pain dealt to you by the tragic loss of your loved one. It is one of the classic signs of a cheating wife and if your gut tells you somethings up, it may be worth investigating it a bit further. So as partners age, sometimes we have to stop asking for what is too painful for them to give. The first step is to communicate with your partner about what you think you might be lacking. What to do about it: Learning to love your own body is a personal journey, so this isn't really something you can fix for her just by giving her compliments (though that can certainly help!). I quit sex because I didnt want to put with name calling and her being boring. Or when she does get in the mood again 45 minutes to get hard and going and he is done like always within a minute and he rolls over and goes to sleep. I was in a 22-year same sex relationship in which sex dried up after we had been together about 5 years. She has her own retail business, which cash flows, but has hasnt turned a profit in the last 5 years. This is how civilizations are built. Not only may this put her off being intimate, but you may be setting yourself and your wife up for a stressful encounter. No way! Resentment Colors your entire relationship gray. Whats more, you are not doomed to be in a sexless marriage! Hopefully, you now know just what to work on, with the help of the reasons why your wife never initiates physical contact. Loved and desired! He spent 100.00 on his mother as he forgot to get her a card why cant he forgive me ? Best to all. This isn't a tit-for-tat sort of thing, though. So the time has come to find a willing older gal and have an affair and feel alive and like a man again But after putting off marriage until I was 40 it too became sexless right after the wedding. We have been convinced to settle and accept less. Prostate cancer is the #1 cancer in older men and when the prostate is removed during surgery it makes a man totally impotent no erection, no ejaculation, no orgasm plus total incontinence which means the post cancer patient needs to wear Depends diapers for the rest of his life. My wife and I are in our 60s, very active and in good health. And I am one of those. This can be difficult since, statistically, couples are not as willing to talk about sexual matters the same way they would other conflicts, such as children or finances. She even stopped expressing affection such as hand holding, goodbye kisses, etc. Then menopause dried it out and the muscles resist and joints spasm, so its painful. We lost our virginity to each other well before our marriage so often, in fact, that on our wedding night we decided we were too tired from the events of the week and just went to bed to sleep. The precursor for any affair is emotional intimacy, says Gopa. Its not that hes a bad person hes not but at this point hes kind of like a zombie. I guess. Demetria, so how old are you now? I have tried to have a heartfelt conversation but he is not willing to talk about it. So when your wife seems to frequently push you away and demonstrates through her words or actions that she has no interest in making love with you, this behavior is usually caused by a one or more triggering events. I guess I must count my blessings. A woman who feels that shes living with a man whocant regain her trust after cheating will most certainly have problems connecting with him on an emotional as well as physical level. What to do about it: Make time to emotionally connect with each other and rekindle your soul connection. Your husband, not even talking to you must be so hard on your self esteem. If you have always been the one to initiate intimacy in your relationship, take a step back and tell her how sexy you think it would be for her to be the one to reach out. It all goes to show that marriage is worthless and now even worse because there is no sexual obligation. I am partly replying and partly commenting on the many very earnest and difficult sexless relationships discussed here. So I disagree when people say leave the marriage as soon as the sex stops. Men dont want to force their wives into sex, nor do they want to beg for it. If you notice your wife acting awkward or becoming extremely tense when you try to touch her, it means she is not liking the fact that you are being physical. I was not going to reward her or fall into another hug with nothing more than a few seconds of holding, and then a push off. However, another simple answer is that she isnt used to being the initiator. Still, feeling like your wife doesnt want sex anymore? found that women had more difficulty staying focused during intimacy and lower arousal levels when under stress. Sure I wish I could be confident in her skin too but Im not going to let it overwhelm me. Unfortunately a couple of years ago I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and under went surgery that shut me don sexually (I couldnt even masturbate any more) This has killed all hope we had to try and have a sexually normal marriage. She told me that women need estrogen their whole lives, not just up to menopause. We just share our acerage, her in the house and I have a place with my dettached out building. We see each other on a daily basis staying busy to supplement our income and find time to make love once per week. he is very persistent. She may begin to stop seeing herself as a sexual being as she assumes the role of mother, a role that society often strongly desexualizes. This is so depressing!! In fact, I dont even feel were friends at this point, as we rarely speak to one another (unless I initiate a conversation) and whenever I try and initiate any affection or even merely suggest sex, he bristles, becomes hostile and defensive and thats that. Wow wish my hubby was so attentive as you! But no sex. The last time we tried, she complained of the pain even with lubrication. Just feel I want to hide away as I know this is not normal . I realized after marriage that I married her for the wrong reason, more of a rebound to fill something torn from me so abruptly, the love for my previous family(wife and children). this.page.identifier = PAGE_IDENTIFIER;
My Wife Doesn't Want Me Sexually (My Wife Never Touches Me Anymore) I figured this was my life, deal with it and shut up. Communication will go a long way in improving your sex life. Im 55 my name is Tom, I havent made love to my wife in nearly 9 years due to her having several medical issues. Just give him some and hopefully he will stop keeping you awake. Every time he gets mad he threatens to move out. On the other hand, another reason your wife is never in the mood may be related to menopause. Doing that just causes me to be resentful of her, and the fact that Im now reduced to doing this nasty little juvenile thing for myself. Nothing physical. So all should take care on this. If theres no intimacy in your marriage from your wife and youve realized that she may be suffering through mental health issues, Bonobologys panel of experienced therapists can help guide your partner through this turbulent time, and perhaps re-establish the harmonious relationship you yearn for. I am very sexually frustrated and a different Danish upbringing with a healthy attitude. Men are very simple to please. Yes. If your wife doesnt feel confident about her physical appearance, she may have inadvertently shut down your sex life. So not only will your wife not want to touch you, but you probably wont want her to anymore. She doesnt complain about helping me out but intercourse is quite painful for her and I dont want to press it if shes in pain. And we sacrifice ourselves for them. Marriage is hard work, but worth every moment when the effort is reciprocated. She basically views it as an immature fixation and that as a married man I should concentrate on more important things. As someone who has now gone over 6 years without any contact more intimate than a hug I can tell you it is a relationship killer.